In Advice

No one thing is going to fix everything

I think that’s pretty obvious. But having said that…..I found going away, to America (for work, admittedly – so I was working and didn’t have to pay) was brilliantly helpful. A holiday (actually a work trip) was as good as a change.

I tried to think about why this helped and these are…

 My top three reasons:

  1. Exciting things to look at and discover– continuing to learn helps me to keep realising life is long and there are still brilliant things to discover. In New York I was massively excited to discover the wonderful High Line – a beautiful disused train line in Manhattan, landscaped with lovely plants.
  2. Lends perspective – there are a lot of people in the world, doing lots of things and with lots of stories. This helped me to realise that this is just one chapter of my life that I will get through.  And that everyone is living their story too.
  3. Distracts you from short term problems – although not a permanent solution….it’s tiring to feel like life is extremely heavyweight all the time. Everyone needs a break – even if it’s a break from grieving.

Realising travelling was helpful allowed me to apply lessons learned to everyday life. I started to make more of a conscious effort to change my routines and habits where I felt they needed to be shaken up, whether that included discovering new areas of London or investigating new places to discover.

Opening up new opportunities

Discovering new things, at a time when some parts of your life are drawing to a close, is epic. This can be a really exciting experience. So many things have happened that I could never have imagined. For example….

  1. Borrowing a phone from a homeless man in Copenhagen when I arrived drunk, not knowing where to meet my friends who lived there.
  2. Almost killing a woman by going over the handlebars on my bike and ending up with two black eyes.
  3. Going to Nicaragua and meeting a bunch of guys who recited Edgar Allen Poe’s ‘The Raven’ to each other on an island that had just witnessed a brutal attack, after which noone had left the island.
  4. Meeting Carolina, who was born on the exact same day as me, in the South Bank Centre on a bench.
  5. Having 43 Airbnb guests in less than a year.
  6. Sitting in an STD clinic wondering what I might have picked up from my husband.
  7. Living with flatmate Graeme, who was also getting divorced and annoying him by performing the songs from Beetlejuice.
  8. Getting locked out of my house by a Chinese couple and having to stay in a hotel less than 100 metres from my house, when I came back at 3am after a sex toy tradeshow in Hannover
  9. Working in a vibrator company
  10. Meeting Rocco Siffredi with Marion and having my picture taken with him


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