MEET OTHER DIVORCED PEOPLE, FEEL NORMAL
When I was going through divorce, I organised a monthly meetup for divorced people in London. It wasn’t an easy thing to start, but the moment someone walked through the door of the Perseverance (aptly named), I felt an amazing sense of relief. They were normal. They were nice and funny and intelligent. When you’re getting divorced, it’s as easy to feel as if there’s something wrong with you as it is to feel isolated (none of my friends had got divorced at this point), and the meetup was a way of us all to know that not only were there other people in the same boat, and that divorce can happen to anyone.
I found these meetups so useful. Probably for the following reasons…
- We built a supportive communityThey were a safe space where people came together to discuss things openly without judgment.
- We worked out that divorce, and experiences that flow from this, are broadly normal – if not always pleasantPeople make mistakes and people change, therefore divorce can happen to absolutely anyone. Meeting other people who are kind, intelligent and empathic meant that we could all feel that divorce/separating didn’t mean that we were somehow defective.
- It was an inclusive community As divorce and separation can happen to absolutely anyone, we wanted everyone to feel welcome, whoever they are and whatever the reason they have for their relationship breakdown.
- We wanted everyone to feel empoweredThrough the sharing of experiences and hearing how others have got through this difficult time, we hoped to support a feeling of empowerment to make our own choices. So that everyone can feel more confident that they will get through this phase of life and enjoy happier times in the future.
- A break up is not the end, it’s a new beginning
We had fun at these meetups. We made friends. And perhaps it’s a testament to how much it helped us, that we didn’t need them any more. Shared problems were halved. Wounds healed. Life took over. And, on the whole, we felt normal again.
Are you interested in holding your own meetup? Keep in touch and we’ll give you our divorce meetup tips and suggested guidelines. You can sign up for our mailing list here.